Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
