Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize