I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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