The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
sarcasm needs its own font
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
