brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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