Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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