Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
