YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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