I wish life had little blips of pornography
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Randomize
