You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
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I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
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You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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