She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
