I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize