i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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