the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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