UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
