would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Still dying that you shit outside
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
