I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
