So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
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