The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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