No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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