remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
