i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
