Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
