I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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