i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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