you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
