Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Randomize
