Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
