I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize