I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
