some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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