I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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