Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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