Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
