Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
