I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
