BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
