Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
