hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Randomize
