so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
