she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
did you just send me my own nude
I feel like a drive thru vagina
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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