if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
