I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
