hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
