No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
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He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
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Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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