you guys were way drunker than both of me
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
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20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
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It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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