Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
