Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize