I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Randomize
