So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
as a side note pls kill me
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
