hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
