actually, I'm a sock model
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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