Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
