Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
