Banned from zoo.
Again?
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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