I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
