a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
