I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
