paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Found your dick twin last night
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
