We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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