I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
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