he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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