birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize