i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
