I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
