I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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